The Unwanted Gift

Do you ever start your day feeling overwhelmed, not knowing what to do first, with a sense that everything you touch becomes complicated, complex and overwhelming.

Why is that, why is it we can go from waking up, feeling settled to suddenly feeling unsettled and even slightly discombobulated.

In that moment do you bring an emphasis to the overwhelm or feeling of discombobulation or do you observe that sensation in the body as something that is actually not even yours, and that instead of making that sensation your movement it becomes something that is outside of you, that you are observing like a patron in a movie theatre watching a bad movie play out, or a present someone is trying to give you that you really don’t need or want.

It is often the case that we are in a movement that can throw us off track and into complexity without even realising until we are way deep into it.

I’ve found this myself often, feeling amazing, an incredible flow in my day then bang seemingly out of no where I’m in a movement that has me feeling overwhelmed, complexed and at times agitated. I used to try to work out how and why I got to that point, what was the trigger or point of entry, of course it only took me further into it and rarely was I able to pin point the exact moment or point of entry, it was a great decoy searching for the point of entry which only kept me in the perpetual spin and away from the simplicity and flow I had been in before the infiltration of what I have come to call the unwanted gifting.

So, if it’s a gift, I can either accept or decline, if it was a food that made me feel sick, or a situation that placed me in danger or uncomfortable would I accept or ingest it, pretty sure mostly no I would not, so why allow myself to keep moving in a way that hinders me from having a day that is free of complexity and full of flow and simplicity.

It’s certainly not something I’ve mastered but it is something I am becoming increasingly aware of and when it attempts to infiltrate and disturb the flow and simplicity I live, it’s a simple thanks but no thanks, it gets parked to the side so to speak and like a child having a tantrum it is observed but never embodied.